She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
