I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
