I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
