Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
as a side note pls kill me
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