dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
