I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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