I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
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