I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I understand Curling. That high.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
