he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize