You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
