she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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