Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
