I swear she didn't look like that last week.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
