last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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