Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
