But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize