Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
