i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Randomize
