Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
