I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
