Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I skipped work to stalk him.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I FOUND THE LEGS
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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