I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize