One girl and one boy is just not enough.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
