Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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