Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
