I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
