It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
