i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
