At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
