well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize