Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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