How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
