he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Less talking, more tequila
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
