Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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