when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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