Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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