lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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