Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
