ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
