scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize