kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
we're making bets on your personal life
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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