Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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