Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
