Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize