I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
