i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
