On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
