i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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