____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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