this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
