dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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