idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
