Umm I'm too high to move.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
