Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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