Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
