I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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