we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
