so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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