make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
