I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
