Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
