So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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