I hope mine doesn't look like that
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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