can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
