god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
