Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I bet he comes in French.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
It's not a walk of shame if you run
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
