If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
