That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
where am i from again
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Randomize
