Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
