if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
